Wise Advice

Don’t argue with idiots because they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. — Mark Twain / Greg King / George Carlin / Whoever

Time Management Advice

A busy man complained to his friend: I work twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, and still I can’t accomplish all my tasks.

His friend replied: All you have to do is wake up two hours earlier every day, and you will see how you will be able to do just everything.

Contradictory Banking

A man entered a bank, asked to speak with the manager and requested a big loan.

“How can we give you such a big sum of money, we don’t even know you?”  The manager asked.

“Strange”, said the customer. “In the previous bank they said just the opposite”.

Mathematically Equivalent to Contradictory Banking

I went down to the toilet in the 4th floor, and met there a colleague from the 3rd floor.

“I came here because they were cleaning the toilet on the 3rd”, he said.

“And I came for exactly the opposite reason…”