Pure Physics

How do you know that sound is faster than light?

Because you hear the drivers behind you honking their cars’ horns before you see the green traffic light in front of you.

Wise Advice

Don’t argue with idiots because they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. — Mark Twain / Greg King / George Carlin / Whoever

Time Management Advice

A busy man complained to his friend: I work twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, and still I can’t accomplish all my tasks.

His friend replied: All you have to do is wake up two hours earlier every day, and you will see how you will be able to do just everything.

Contradictory Banking

A man entered a bank, asked to speak with the manager and requested a big loan.

“How can we give you such a big sum of money, we don’t even know you?”  The manager asked.

“Strange”, said the customer. “In the previous bank they said just the opposite”.

Mathematically Equivalent to Contradictory Banking

I went down to the toilet in the 4th floor, and met there a colleague from the 3rd floor.

“I came here because they were cleaning the toilet on the 3rd”, he said.

“And I came for exactly the opposite reason…”